Unpacking The Truth

 
My mother unexpectedly passed away 13 years ago today.
 
Back then, at the age of 30, I had no experience or tools to deal with suicide. No one from the hospital followed up with me to ensure I was resourced and have understood the grieving process. None of my “friends” held space for me to heal without offering substances to temporarily remove the pain.
 
I was isolated, confused, and hurting for the next 6 years. It was a blur.
 
My narcissist ex used my emotional downtime to inflict more abuse and terror on my mind, body, and soul. I was so fucking lost for so many years, I couldn’t see straight.
 
But, I didn’t give up.
 

Getting Grounded

 
I dove into healing myself the best way I knew how. I found peace in self-actualization, self-regulation, and unpacking the truth.
 

“The path from not knowing to all-knowing is riddled with dark shadows that eventually lead us to our light.”

 
I didn’t give up in my quest for understanding myself and my purpose. I traveled all over the world, built businesses, and invested in others. Many of my inquiries into the unknown would leave me guessing and still reeling in low self-worth until I found stability in self.
 

 
You see, in order to truly heal, we must first get grounded. Grounded so deep that no one can reach our roots.
 
Next, we have to move our Prana. Our own energy force to get our bodies and minds working in union.
 
Finally, we must set our intentions on what is possible and surrender to the fact that we aren’t in control.
 
All of this must be protected by boundaries—both physical and invisible. Our cosmic energy is having a human experience and I get it, it’s fucking hard. But, if we do the work each and every day and unpack the truth until there is nothing left in our bags, we can find our own authentic way and not carry the burden of the past.
 

You’ve come a long way, baby

 
“You’ve come a long way baby”, my mother’s brass key chain suggested to me time and time again as it clanked around in her car for 25 years.  It’s true.
 
Today, I understand I always had grace by my side. I’m proud of my experiences and each that made me the beautiful woman I am today: worthy as fuck.